I never really like children in general – there I said it. Before calling me a monster to my face please hear me out.
I don’t like kids not only because I’m neurotic like that but also because I don’t really know how to handle screaming, kicking, tantrums and over all brattiness of those little banshees.
My long standing not-liking-relationship with kids ended when me and my husband decided that it’s time for us to have one of our own. (what am I thinking? hehe just kidding) I guess it’s the mother instinct inside of me that told me that my kid will be different, but yeah, when I saw my baby for the first time, I know I’m in love with her already… and that the things that I hate most will bite me in the ass starting that day.
I’m never an expert on things kid-related because seriously, I used to not like them right? so why bother knowing stuffs to make them stop? This is because as a mother of a 2 month old banshee…er, girl, I am now experiencing first hand the horror (or excitement, really) of the wild wailing and screaming and kicking of a child. And she’s not even a toddler yet.
So yeah, for new moms out there, here are some tips on how to survive the day.
1. Stop and breathe. Seriously, we need to breathe. Nothing will ever happen if we scream back at them. They have their excuse – their kids. We’re adults. (even if we don’t act like one most of the time.)
2. Leave the kid in the crib, go out of the room and count to ten, or a hundred – whichever will make you calm and relaxed. You can jump rope if that will make you calm so I guess to each his own. I do this a lot cause sometimes the screaming just wont stop. It will mess with our brains and will make us want to eat our baby alive. We are not cannibals. We are civilized humans who should understand that kids will be kids no matter what. They, on the other hand might be a barbaric creature sent to torture us, but everything will be worth it once we see them smile.
3. Talk to them in a soothing voice. Eventhough they cry like wild people from outside the planet, kids will calm down once we’re calm. Let them be a banshee all they want, we don’t need to be a wild gorilla to make them stop. Scrap the idea that we are the boss – we’re not, we are parents not the alpha male/female.
4. No matter what happens, stay sane. Sometimes, I’m not sure if I am sane since I’m borderline crazy to begin with, but seriously, we don’t need to act crazy to prove our point that we are tired, we need some rest, we need them to stop crying, etc. They will stop once we soothe them. Maybe their hungry, so we need to feed them. Maybe they need changing so we better check their nappies. Maybe they simply want to be cuddled so we hug them and soothe them to sleep. They don’t need to apologize for being a kid. Remember that we are kids once and our parents survived the ordeal.
5. Lastly, as an innocent, naive being who sees someone else’s kid screaming their lungs out – keep your comments to yourself. We parents don’t need some bystanders point of view on how you should handle the scenario if the kid is your own kid. We don’t care if the screaming upsets you, we parents are a hundred times more upset and tired. So please, spare us some slack and just shut up and your thing. If you still childless, pray that your kid wont act up. If you are a parent to a saint, then hallelujah! – you are lucky, you don’t need to rub it to our face.
I hope you guys learned something from what I just typed. Here’s to hoping that I won’t have to deal with a screaming, wailing banshee toddler soon.
Goodluck to all of us. 🙂