I have something to confess – confidence is my middle name but like every women on earth, belly bulge makes me feel like I’m a tub of lard and some cellulite here and there makes me crazier than I already am. I’ve always been conscious of my body and comments like “you’re thighs are huge” and “you seem fat” are the only thing that makes me forget that I am confident. I won’t deny it, but gaining an extra 10lbs is a nightmare to me; not being able to fit into my size26 jeans (I used to be a size 24!) will give me a heart attack and being called fat is like a total slap in the face.
A month after giving birth to Adriana, I still have the belly to prove that I got pregnant. Last week, some friends came to our house and all of them told me that I still look pregnant. I was actually expecting myself to have a total meltdown then and there but by a great miracle of some sort, I remain calm and just wish them an early death (ok, just kidding). Then it hit me – I am much happier now in my own skin, although I am still 15lbs heavier and my tummy bulge is still there, I am more confident and proud of my body.
You see, I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that tummy bulge is the end of the world. That cellulite equates to not being pretty and that being chubby is ugly. I don’t want her to think that girls should be in a certain weight to be considered beautiful. You see, I want her to love herself and be confident for what she is. The saying you can never be too thin maybe true but I want my baby to realize that being thin or being fat is not the end of everything.
I may not be able to prance around in a bikini (yet) but by golly, in a few months/years time, I will be back in shape and prance around the beach – stretchmarks and all to tell them to just back off.
Bottomline, it took me 9 months to gain all the weight and my god, I will take my time to lose it.